Ronald Bump

Ronald Bump
Tagline: "Trust me..it's a great deal. For me."
Card Bio:
Ronald Bump is the high-functioning, coke-snorting sociopath who runs manages the cunny funts Comedy clown crew. he runs it like a pyramid scheme and funnels dirty money through its books. Equal parts salesman, scammer, and self-declared genius, Bump will sell, you your own shoes back and you'll thank him for the privilege. He's got charm, lies, and lawsuits in equal measure. The only thing bigger than his ego is the pile of white powder on his glass desk
Stats:
Ponzi Schemes: 6 (that we know of)
Coke Intake: Enough to kill an elephant
Con Artist Level: Max Prestige
Moral Compass: Liquidated for profit